Who Am I?

I don't know who I am anymore. I have lost myself since motherhood started. Those first years are really rough. I'll never understand how you mamas get up and put on makeup every day and get yourselves fully ready. I gave up makeup right after he was born, and I keep my hair in a pixie because Lord knows I just cannot find the time, strength, or energy to fool with it anymore.

I love my baby y'all, but it is time for me to try to find me again. I have been making myself shower at night, so I'll have more time to get ready in the mornings without feeling so rushed. Instead of going weeks without shaving my legs, I have been shaving at least every other day. Now, I just have to find the energy to fool with make up again because I do actually run a flat iron through my little bit of hair daily.

I guess that is really what this blog is about. I need to find myself and I want other moms to know that it is okay to find who you are outside of motherhood. For me, I need to because I have been so down and out because I no longer have any hobbies or interests. Seriously. I used to read all the time and now I can barely get through a book. It has to really pull me in for me to finish it in a timely manner. 

I am also going back to work because I have always been about my career. I was a career mama until I became disabled in May 2021, but now that they got my meds right and I am feeling better, it's time to go back and see what that does for me. I'm starting on June 19th (which would have been my grandmother's birthday). I am ecstatic. In fact, time cannot pass quickly enough right now. It's like it is moving at a snail's pace.

I find myself trying to get into social media a little more to grow my blog, but the truth is I don't know how many people are actually reading it other than my mom. I know she read my first two blog posts. The truth is, it will probably be slow growing because I am counting on the people who follow me on social media to be the ones to look at it more. 

I know that some of my content will make me seem selfish. I promise I am not. I am just in a journey to find myself again so I can be the best possible me that I can be for not just myself, but for my family too. They deserve me at my best and when I am down and out, that just isn't what they get. They deserve better than what I have been able to give lately and I know that so I am trying my hardest to do something about. So join me in my journey to find myself and possibly find my niche. I'm pretty sure it is going to end up being general and all of the above when it comes to topics posted which is fine by me, but who knows, I may narrow it down to something a little more specific. I guess time will tell.